tri-annual solbeam statistical update

Tri-Annual Solbeam Statistical Update

— As of 26, February 2002

# of Months on the Road = 11

# of Suspicious Skin Infections in 11 Mos. = 3

# of Digital Cameras Donated to the Guatemalan Black Market = 3

# of Persons reported in a Kidnapping for Ransom in the City Yesterday = 3

$$$ Amount of Ransom asked to Return the Abducted = 3000 Quetzales

3000 Quetzales Equivalent in US dollars = $375.00

How Much I’m Kidding About That Figure = Not At All

% of People I Know on First Name Basis at the Bar on any Given Night = 85

% of Those People Who Give me the “Tip-The-Bottle” More-Alcohol-Please-Because-I-Know-You Signal = 80%

How Annoying That Is = Extremely

How Much I Long to Be Salsa-ing Instead of Behind the Bar = Desperately

How Many Doubts I’d Rather Be Traveling than Working on Weekends = Without

How Many Reasons I Needed to Quit Working at the Bar = 3

Things I’ve Suddenly Realized That I’ve Forgotten in the Last 11 Months = What My Old *nice* Watch Looks Like, How Much a Beer Costs in San Diego, My Way Around PhotoShop

How Long It’s Been Since I’ve Driven a Car = 11 Months

How I’ve Learned to Fall Asleep in a Chicken Bus = Standing Up

How Many Dance Floors I’ve Broken a Floor Board In = 1

How Many Times I’ve Been Electrocuted in Central America = 4 (Story Coming)

How Many Times I’ve Gotten on the Wrong Bus in Central America = 1

How Many Times I’ve Gotten on The Wrong Plane in Central America = 1 (Story Coming)

# of Avocados I Eat a Day = 1.5

$$ of 1 Avodcado = .75Q or 10 cents US

How Many Nightmares I’ve Had About Returning to the States = 3

How Many Times I’ve Cried in the Last 11 Months = 0

Next Time I Will Cry = March 26th, 2002

Date I Leave Guatemala = March 26th, 2002

How Many Cups of Coffee I’ve Drunken Whilst Writing This = 2

How Many Minutes I Spent Contemplating if “Drunken” is a Word = 2

Conclusion on the word “Drunken” = Suspicious

# of Apologies to My 16 Years of English Teachers = Many

Where I Was Last Weekend = Surfing Competition in Sipicate (Beach on the Pacific of Guatemala)

What Place I Took = 2nd

Degree of Truth in that Claim = None

What I Really Did Learn = How to Body Board

How Much Fun That Was = Wickedly Fun

How Many Pictures I Took Over the Weekend = 20+

When Today I Will Hopefully Post Them = Later

Recipe For My Daily “Piece of Heaven” Shake: 1 Frozen Banana, 1/2 cup milk, 2 tbls sugar, 3 tbls powdered vanilla flavoring, 1/2 cup dry mosh

How Often I Have to Fight with My Roommates for the Blender Now that I’ve Shared with Them How to Make This Shake = Daily

What I Drink Behind the Bar: Lemon Juice, Salt, Tomato juice, *stir*, Soda Water and Ice (“Suero con Tomate”)

Facial Expressions of all Those Who Taste It: Scowls and Grimmaces

Recipe for a Very Nice Pina Colada: Ice, Pina Juice, Dark Rum, Kaluah, Milk *shake, drain*, Cinnamon on Top

How Many Limes I Have to Cut and/or Squeeze Each Night Before Work = Countless

How Many Calluses I Have on My Hands From the Knife I Use = 2

What the Term “Enron” Means to Me = Nothing

What the Term “Freedom” Means to Me = Everything

How Often I Question and Challenge the Ideals of American Society: Constantly

How Much I Desire a Picket Fence, Nice Car or White Wedding: Zill, Nilch and Nada

How Much Uncertainty Lies in My Future = A Great Deal

How OKAY I Am with That = A *Surprisingly* Great Deal

How Many Miles I Ran This Morning = 5

How Many Consecutive Turns I Can Make Salsa-ing = 5

How Many Fingers I Have On My Right Hand = 5

How Many of the Letters on this Keyboard are Written in with White-Out = 13

Stats I’m Starting To Write = Nonsense

Time For Me To Go = Now

Page # Where My Bookmark is in “The Lord of The Rings” trilogy = 81

What *wonderful* Quote From Which I Leave You With:


The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the Door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

&nbsp&nbsp And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

&nbsp&nbsp Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

— J.R.R Tolkien

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