the sol times

The Sol Times

News for Saturday the 9th, of March 2002

Crime Report

Last night, at approximately 11:10 p.m. at the nightclub “Casbah”, located in Antigua Guatemala, a fight was reported to have broken out on the dance floor during a promotional event for Gallo, the Guatemalan beer giant. In the midst of the commotion, a beer bottle was thrown, but as the intended victim ducked, it’s course continued to strike and knock down the dancer behind. The female victim, 25 years of age and going by the name of “Sol” suffered a blow to the jaw. After the initial shock wore off, she was reported to have been back on the dance floor and happily grooving again, albeit holding her *cold* Cuba against her jaw.

When asked if she was okay, she is quoted as saying, “uuhhh..aets eally ard or me oh talk ight now….it urts ew smile…can wee alk ater?”

Sources report that her jaw status as of this morning is swollen but the pain quite bearable. The victim is, however, having problems chewing and is reported to have smiled and stated, “Eff it oesn’t fit rough a straw, it isnt on my menu.”


Last week Sol was out with her good Guatemalan friend Henry (aka “Mr. Antigua”) having drinks at a local bar when another male friend of hers approached. Unbeknownst to the new arriver, Henry had been politely reminding Sol at numerous points in the day that she should NOT be scratching her suspicious skin disease #3 (which should be noted has finally gone away!). The new arriver kissed Sol on the cheek in customary Guatemalan greeting fashion. At this moment, it also happened to be that Sol was scratching her legs. Henry quickly gave Sol a fast SLAP! on the leg to remind her not to scratch. The new arriver, jumped back, mumbling most sincere apologies to Henry (who happens to be a body building champ and quite scary in a tight t-shirt) and ran away into the crowd before the two even had the chance to realize what had happened and break out in hysterics.


Siskle-Sol gives the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy (the BOOK) “Two-Very-Enthusiastic-Thumbs-Up”. Which looks a little bit like this:

She will be attending the 3:30 showing of the MOVIE this afternoon, and the Sol-Times will be the first to receive her report.

Correction — CHICK-Bus

The editor would like to make an amendment to a past issue of the Sol Times. In January, in the article titled “How the Chicken Bus Crossed The Road” it was quoted:

“Although I’ve never actually seen a chicken on one of these busses…”

For the Sol Times record, let it be corrected that on Sunday the 3rd of March, on a chicken-bus from Quetzaltenago to Chichicastenago, our foreign corresponder Sol spent four hours inside of a chicken bus with 301 chickens. Technically, 300 chicks, in boxes, and 1 rooster, tied up in a plastic bag — all of which were located in the baggage bin above her head. Other witnesses report that every time the bus went around a turn…where upon the 300 chicks ceased their constant chirping as they “rolled” from one side of the box to the other, a smuggled giggling could be heard from the row of passengers underneath them. Our correspondent denied hearing any such noises.


In direct correlation to the robbery of numerous digital cameras, as it may have been noticed, there are often times delays between the actual events posted at the Sol Times, and the photographs visually capturing those events. We apologize for this delay and promise that as soon as we get back to the States, and get our hands on that new Sony CD400 that is covered in our own drool, we’ll be back in live action. For the meantime though, we have some photos to present representing various past traveling trips:

Getting in the “swing” of Mexican beach life in Tulum:

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Sol’s gererally-overly-energetic self in Puerto Escondido, Mexico:

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More Mexico Pictures

And a sunset in Monterico with the wonderful (and tree-like) German boys:

More Monterico and “Living Antigua” Pictures


Our foreign correspondent in Guatemala will be embarking on her very first Rock Climbing trip tomorrow at 12 noon. She hopes this activity will be less dangerous than dancing at the local discoteque.

Signing Out,

Senior Editor Sol

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