Sol Statistical Update for Thailand: 8/31/2002
Reason for not blogging: Excessive Fun
Status of motorbike accident wounds: Infection
Reasons allowing time for composure of this Blog: 90% Monsoon, 10% Exhaustion from excessive antibiotic drugs
Frequency of pill-popping: Every 4 hours
How much I am personally contributing to the human race’s increased resistance to antibiotics: Unfair Amounts
# of Elephants I was hopping to trek on today: 1
Chances of cancellation due to monsoon: 80%
Approximate weight of Thai woman who trampled on my back last night in a 1-hr Thai full body (as in THEY use THEIR full body) massage: 135 lbs
Approximate number of elephants it now (this morning) feels like trampled over my back last night: 20
Cost of Thai massage per hour: US $4 dollars
Companions in Pi Pi Islands: 2 Strikingly Handsome Frenchmen
How Much They Paid Me to use those Adjectives: Undisclosed
# of facial attacks by baby monkey: 1 (captured on camera and coming to a photogallery near you)
Scars to Show for it: Only Mental
# of Postcards found that have a picture of my exact bungalow on it: Countless
Cool factor of that: Extreme
# of rumored Unexplained Deaths in Bungalow L16 (next door to mine): 1
Condition of mattress upon inspection by traveler who thought it was a lie and wondered why the best bungalow on the beach was unoccupied: Blood-soaked
# of maps found: 0
Bad joke in reference to the movie “The Beach” (that was filmed here): see above
# of Padlocks added to the door of L16 after I questioned the reception desk as what occurred in the bungalow: 2
Status of Mystery: Unsolved
# of Travelers who share with me the right-leg-motorbike-muffler-burn “tattoo of Thailand”: 1 in 4
How many of those who sport the same “tattoo” who give me the “nod” of mutual condolence *and idiocy*: 1 in 4
# of Scuba dives made off the Pi Pi Islands: 2
Me & My Divemaster
Visibility: Absolute shit
Hypothesis as to what the diving is most likely like ON-season (i.e, NOT now): Exceptional
What is used to serve the Thai special Red Bull & Rum concoction at bars: A bucket and 5 straws
Implications of ordering drinks in buckets: Nauseous rides home in Long Tail boats and deathly hang-overs.
Cure for deathly hang overs: Beach, Bungalow and a splash of lime.
Funny-Ass-Sign that I *regrettably* was unable to get my camera out fast enough to capture: “Next Right: Monkey Training College” (Yes. They actually have them to train the monkeys to harvest coconuts.)
# of Pictures awaiting uploadation: 50+
Date “Uploadation” was added to the Sol Dictionary: 8/31/02
Average # of Israelis that approach me speaking in Hebrew each day: No less than 5
# of Baht that one Israeli was willing to bet that I was actually from Israel and traveling incognito as an American tourist: 500 Baht
Price of a full day snorkel excursion to 7 different sites including all equipment and meals: 450 baht
What the Israeli swore was a conclusive indicator of my Israeli origin: My Feet
Audio Level of the Rain that is coming down now as I type: Totally Deafening
Chance that my Elephant Trek has been cancelled: 95%
Time Due for my next elephant-sized Antibiotic pill: Immediately
Quick Mid-Term Report Card for Thailand before I pass out from Exhaustion:
Ease of Travel: A+
Quality of Food: A+
Beauty of Beaches: A+
Safety: B+
Cleanliness: B
Amount of Extracurricular Activity Options (etc. Diving, Kayaking, Elephant and Other Treks, Buddhist Meditation Centers, Rock Climbing, etc.): A+
Cost of Travel: A+ (by far the cheapest I’ve ever come by)
Cultural Learning & Level of Interaction with Thai people: D+
Comments: Thailand is at the VERY top of my list of countries I will return to for a more extensive amount of time 1: because of the scores on factors 1-7 above and 2: in attempt to to raise the score on factor 8, which simply necessitates more time than my allowed 2 wks.
Pictures coming soon….