{"id":2173,"date":"2014-04-06T16:11:58","date_gmt":"2014-04-06T20:11:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/solbeam.com\/?p=2173"},"modified":"2016-10-19T19:59:29","modified_gmt":"2016-10-19T23:59:29","slug":"the-intimacy-of-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seekingsol.com\/the-intimacy-of-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"the intimacy of loss"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

\"swan\"<\/a><\/p>\n

You know what people don’t<\/em> tell you about?<\/p>\n

The intimacy of tragedy.<\/p>\n

The collapse into the lap of your lover; not in elated exertion…. but in grief.<\/p>\n

The speechlessness; not of direct eye contact… but of downcast mutual understandings.<\/p>\n

The timelessness; not of unrelenting focus…. but of sheer sadness.<\/p>\n

The physical exhaust; not of lust…. but of depression.<\/p>\n

The upholding; not to lofty heights….but when the ground is absent.<\/p>\n

The hand squeezes; not confirming secrets… but in warning or recognition of the pain that is either coming or going.<\/p>\n

The tears; not the hot ones in irrational fear of the loss of something abstract… but the cold, resigned, ones, shed upon that which is already gone.<\/p>\n

The insomnia; not of a racing heart, but a stumbling spirit.<\/p>\n

The lack of appetite; not from being emotionally overfed, but from a disinterest in the pettiness of the physical.<\/p>\n

The infatuation; not with he who you’ve elevated with unrealistic expectation, but for he who has trudged his way to the top of your pedestal.<\/p>\n

Life will never be fair, transparent or forthright. It’s just not in its nature. Nor am I foolish enough to foster such expectations. Loss, death, and pain – they are the inevitable valleys of the mountains I’ve chosen to climb. I get that. And shake hands, respectably, with life still.\u00a0Yet as I surface, now, from tragedy, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m experiencing all the symptoms of a romance hangover. And I’m left with the hazy, bewildered, guess, that be it a partner (in which case it is for me) or Life itself, there is as much intimacy in sharing loss, as in sharing love.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 You know what people don’t tell you about? The intimacy of tragedy. The collapse into the lap of your lover; not in elated exertion…. but in grief. The speechlessness; not of direct eye contact…… <\/p>\n

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