{"id":341,"date":"2004-07-26T15:48:00","date_gmt":"2004-07-26T15:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mercurystate.wordpress.com\/2004\/07\/26\/fire-my-spirit\/"},"modified":"2016-10-19T20:36:22","modified_gmt":"2016-10-20T00:36:22","slug":"fire-my-spirit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seekingsol.com\/fire-my-spirit\/","title":{"rendered":"Fire My Spirit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Earth my Body<\/p>\n

Water my Blood<\/p>\n

Air my Breath<\/p>\n

Fire my Spirit<\/p>\n

(From the window of the \u201cPlanet Drum<\/a>\u201d Volunteer house in Bahia de Caraquez, Ecuador.)<\/p>\n

***********************<\/p>\n

Dear Ev,<\/p>\n

The day you left, I had to walk in large circles around the city for hours. Cause every time I stopped physically moving, the grief of your being gone would catch up and so overwhelm me that I\u2019d topple over in the hunger of heartache.<\/p>\n

Do you remember when we were walking on the beach and you asked me, \u201cThis is going to hurt isn\u2019t it? This lesson in Love is going to be really painful.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I replied, \u201cOnly if you want it to be. If you seek pain, if you think pain will make it meaningful, then yes, this lesson will hurt. But Life is gentle in her lessons if we let her be. Yes, if we resist, she\u2019ll probably resort to a sludge hammer, but if we listen attentively, consciously, she might only tickle us with a feather. And I hope I can graciously choose to decline Pain in my life just as I do guilt, shame, and anger. It\u2019s as easy as saying, \u201cNo thank you\u201d to redefine our reality, and our lesson in Love, as pain-free… \u201c<\/p>\n

I know those words are still true. The strength did not seep from them, but from me.<\/p>\n

And I suppose it was exactly that seeping of strength from our individual paths and persons that was our feather. But we were too busy with the moonstruck motions of lovers to be bothered to notice the threat that Life was dangling over our toes with a smirk.<\/p>\n

So we unconsciously opted for the sludge hammer didn\u2019t we? We glided by on the bliss of the union of our being until your subconscious left you awake in the dark for a week with a case of insomnia that would leave you no option but to confront consciousness. Till after a final fight with that which you did not want to admit, you waited for me to wake and when I did, took my hand to your heart and said:<\/p>\n

\u201cI have to go. I love you more than anything I ever have in this world. But I have sacrificed my path to walk with you along yours. And now I\u2019ve lost myself in my love for you. But now my Truth, MY path, calls. So urgently that it keeps me awake through the night. I have to go. And I would ask you to come with me, but I already know the strength of your pull to your path. You must continue. And I must go find my own way again. And if you love me, you\u2019ll let me go. Because this is the hardest thing I\u2019ve ever had to do and I don\u2019t have the strength to do it on my own. I need your help. Please. Help me go by letting me go.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so we let each other go — in the most bitter but beloved lesson of Unattached Love.<\/p>\n

But still the sledgehammer\u2019s bruises mark my heart.<\/p>\n

And the tears continue to make trails down my cheeks.<\/p>\n

And I feel the vacancy your hand left in mine.<\/p>\n

Yet in the center of the heartache and under the swollen eyes of overworked tear ducts \u2013 I feel strength seeping back in. For in embracing my pain, I think I have somehow embraced my humanity. And perhaps it was THIS lesson that Life needed a sledgehammer to show me; That Love humbles us.<\/p>\n

And that there is nothing more worthy of our humility.<\/p>\n

And so in my empty hand, I clench onto my vision of you; On the top of a mountain, at the summit of YOUR path, at eye level with the eagle and its flight of freedom that inspires you so. And in seeing you not lost in love, but in your Inspiration, I suddenly understand. I instinctively and immediately throw my arms into the air and free also the creature of flight that I hold onto. And this time, my hand does not feel empty, but full of the freedom that it has released. And I clutch my heart instead in shared joy.<\/p>\n

Ah ha.<\/p>\n

Letting go of my attachment.<\/p>\n

And ALSO my desire to hold on.<\/p>\n

So THIS is unattached love.<\/p>\n

…..<\/p>\n

When I made the ring for you, I wrote this into my journal knowing that at some point I would give both to you;<\/p>\n

\u201cJust as this silver has melted and changed from one existence unto another, so has and shall our love; Born in one form \u2013 melted into another \u2013 re-birthed into yet another new shared existence. Eternal is that, as is all, Love. Continually intertwining like the very Knot of Eternity that brought us together. Having listened to our hearts and followed our unexplainable intuitions, our souls found and walked the paths that would meet in each other. And in this manner will our essences continue to weave, intertwine and dance. And these paths will naturally stray, for the space in the Knot is just as important as the Knot itself \u2013 balancing the dance and keeping the cycles of life and loving fresh and flowing. But always will these forms curve back toward each other. For we are not individual and straight lines living out solitary and linear existences, but momentary glimpses of a divinely chaotic and united cycle of love. In the Knot, there is neither end nor beginning, just as we knew each other before we met and know each other without end. And through each other, we shall not understand only one love, but Know all love, as each and every crossing of Life has the capacity to inspire. May we continue to listen attentively to the guidance of the inner voice of Truth, so the sooner that we may follow our individual paths to reunion.\u201d<\/p>\n

with undefended, and unattached love,<\/p>\n

sol<\/p>\n

(sol’s travel photos<\/a>) (about sol<\/a>) (some sol stories<\/a>) (LeapNow.org<\/a>) (travel disclaimer<\/a>) (packing list<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Earth my Body Water my Blood Air my Breath Fire my Spirit (From the window of the \u201cPlanet Drum\u201d Volunteer house in Bahia de Caraquez, Ecuador.) *********************** Dear Ev, The day you left, I had… <\/p>\n

Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2930,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37],"tags":[326],"yoast_head":"\nFire My Spirit - Christina Rivera<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/seekingsol.com\/fire-my-spirit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fire My Spirit - Christina Rivera\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Earth my Body Water my Blood Air my Breath Fire my Spirit (From the window of the \u201cPlanet Drum\u201d Volunteer house in Bahia de Caraquez, Ecuador.) *********************** Dear Ev, The day you left, I had... 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