Yesterday my mom called me a “modern monk.” And something about this comic vision (of myself in the robes of the Flying Nun) flinted around in my head sparking odd and incomplete inspirations. For I am beginning to suspect that much of Humanity is right now on the verge of coming out of the spiritual closet…but we just have absolute CRAP options for what to wear.
I’ve seen it in my semester abroad students. When I meet them at the airport, they are loaded with prescriptions drugs, histories of depression and self-abuse, and the terminology from a lifetime of psychiatric counseling. But after three months of physical travel (which in all and every case reflects and inspires a similar path of inner exploration) they are so light they actually appear to hover just about an inch off the ground. No, they have not suddenly “discovered” who they are (but neither will any of us ever, for we can never be confined to the physical reflection of ego in the mirror) BUT they have stopped repressing their deep spiritual inclinations, intuitions and inspirations and learned to question their existence with Wonder. For that is ALL that Spirituality is; Questioning the meaning of life and living with Wonder. When or why unanswerable questions became shameful, I’m not sure. But there is a Truth revolution on the stir that is sending the most susceptible of our age (the Youth) spinning in circles trying to decide head from tale. Cause there is great incongruency between what they are being told is true, and what they FEEL is true. They feel something greater rumbling inside of them, but they have no terminology to describe it because their psychiatrists, priests and parents have ignorantly pointed in all directions but one; the questioner’s heart.
What I’ve seen is that inner voices are knocking on inner doors with decreasing patience and increasing volume. The fires of inner creativity are tired of being subdued by the boring hand of Society. The social system put out a hand and offered us food, sex, money and power – but as we see by the news headlines careening across all our screens, is that our over-consumption of these elements has only resulted in the wildfire spread of obesity, STDs, reclusive greed and an arrogant and abusive hierarchy.
We are eating ourselves alive.
And we are still hungry.
It has recently come to my attention that many important people in my life are *right now* contemplating suicide.
And to them I say, “Well then YOU excite me. For your inner voice will not be buried alive. It’s refusing the slow death that so many have succumbed to. But yours will fight. It will bang on your inner doors and beg to breathe. It will scream and shout and stomp (do you feel this inner tantrum going on?). But it refuses to be contained by a coffin any longer. And it is willing to risk everything to escape. Your will to live is not less…but LOUDER. And if you have come to the point that you are willing to risk everything to die, then you are also at the point that you are willing to risk everything to Live. So welcome to the climax of your being. You have always had a choice. But at least now, you are conscious of your choosing.”
And then I remind them that regardless of what they choose, they will not escape either their problems or my love — in this life or the next.
*****
And aside from my usually life-salivating dribble…
Although I have been offered a position managing the café I work at, I have decided instead to follow the visions of my sleeping dreams and make my way to the coast where I have found a volunteer work placement.
On the physical and mental move first thing in the morning.
(sol’s travel photos) (about sol) (some sol stories) (LeapNow.org) (travel disclaimer) (packing list)